Just Quit Already!!

“But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.”

1 Peter 2:9-10 MSG

Well…just like that it was over before it even began!!

Like most little girls I wanted to be a ballerina. I begged my mom to sign me up to take classes, so she did. She took me to get cute little ballet slippers, a leotard, and of course a tutu! I totally looked the part. I remember going to my first class so anxious, yet excited! I made my way to the front of the class right where the mirrors were. I wanted to watch myself glide across the room all graceful like the ballerinas I watched on tv. I was pretty confident that I was born to perform. Watch out Juilliard here I come!

I obviously got a little ahead of myself being young and naive. After a few classes I started to pay attention to the other girls in the room. I watched them in the mirror as we learned different poses. I noticed something was different about them or maybe it was the fact that I didn’t look like them at all. For the first time I experienced insecurity at such an early age. These girls had something I didn’t. They actually looked like ballerinas. They had long slender legs and I had short pudgy ones. My thighs touched and theirs didn’t. They were so graceful and delicate. I was like a bull in a china shop trying to do a plié. It just wasn’t natural to me like it was to them. Needless to say after that session I felt defeated and I quit. I didn’t have what it took or the look. Did I mentioned my thighs touched and theirs didn’t?!!

Fast forward to a few years later when I decided I wanted to try modeling. A local modeling agency came to my school to recruit new faces. Once again my mom wanted to support another dream I had, and took me to the modeling agency that came to my school. I was so excited because I just knew this was something I could do. I was still confident in the fact that I was born to perform, but this time it was going to be different. Modeling didn’t require much right?!!

I hadn’t done this whole modeling thing before, so I was unprepared. I didn’t know about portfolios or that I needed a certain walk for the runway. I just thought I needed to show up and they would immediately see that I was the one they had been looking for. Well, it definitely didn’t go how I had imagined it in my head. I was told I had the face, but I was too short. I would never be able to do anything but headshots or catalog shoots if anything at all. My dreams of becoming the next Cindy Crawford (yes I realize that totally shows my age!) were quickly crushed by a woman who barely looked at me. Once again that insecurity of not looking the part sprung up in me. Ugh, those insecurities!

There have been many more moments where the insecurity of not being enough or not looking the part have surfaced since then. In those moments I gave into the lie believing that I didn’t have what it took. I wanted what someone else had, to be a part of something amazing like them, or even worse I wanted to look just like them.

“But you are the ones who have been chosen by God”….

It took me well into my 30’s to figure out this one simple truth. A truth that God whispered so sweetly in a time that my insecurities were so out of control. He said “Daughter, you don’t look like anyone else because I have chosen YOU to be set apart. You weren’t made to do what everyone else is doing. I chose you for a purpose like non other. A work that only you can do. You can’t look like them or they will never see who I am.”

“Chosen for the high calling of priestly work…”

Even though I still pick myself apart, God continues to show me the truth of who I am. He challenges me to be confident in the woman that He has made me to be. A woman that has been hand picked by the Creator of the Universe for such a time as this. I have my own race to run and I can’t afford to be distracted!

Friends, He whispers the same truth over you today! You were strategically formed and given specific gifts and talents for His purpose. He chose you and set you apart for His work that can only be done by you. You weren’t made to look like or be like anyone else on purpose. Instead of wanting to be someone else, embrace all that you are, even the flaws you so desperately want to change. The world needs YOU! So get out there, be confident in who God has made you to be, and set the world on fire with the Light that is in you!